Philippines – America's Finest Ambassador

They’re breedin’ a whole new generation of McFatasses out in Manila

Former cock-fighting – or Sabong as they call it – ref explaining to me how his nostil and mouth had once been united by an unruly bird that got away from him at the end of the fight

Typical blade applied to the leg of each cock pre-fight to ensure bloody gore for the enjoymeny of the Filipino people

Me and Scarface backstage at the Sabong stadium. I was waved behind the scenes by the dude holding up devil horns to get the inside scoop on how the feathered beasts merk each other

Looks like I missed a 1-Day, 7-Cock Fighting event hosted by Manny Pacquiao by only a couple weeks. Doh!

Givin’ the little guy a pep talk before sending him off to war

The owners gettin’ their cocks riled up pre-fight at the Makati Coliseum

Cocks are very territorial. So, just before the fight commences, the owner of each bird puts them face to face to get ’em pissed off at each other right before settin’ ’em on the ground and letting ’em get it on

Here they are dropping the birds, signaling the start of the fight

As if you didn’t know this already, birds are extremely fucking stupid. Sometimes the cocks forget they were just in a hostile situation face to face with an enemy then walk around the ring couched in their indifference.

Then all of a sudden, they notice each other again and consider the very presence of the other bird to be a breach in their personal territory and, oh baby, it’s on.

Wings of fury. With the legs of each bird strapped with blades similar to the one I was holding earlier in this series of photos, this fight was a frantic blur that didn’t last very long.

The Final Cut

Once one bird looks unresponsive and the other one starts walking around unaggresively, the ref steps in, picks them both up, puts them face to face once again then drops them to see if the fight will resume.

As he drops the two here, the one on the left is just dead weight and falls limply to the ground.

The fight is now officially over…

…and the winner is returned to the owner. The owner then takes the damaged bird out back for treatment…

Cock Doc stitchin’ up the winner so he may one day fight again

Cock mortician hangin’ up the losers and gettin’ ’em all prepped up for dinner

Postin’ up at Manila Bay, getting ready to peep some of the location’s world-renowned sunset action

Makati City – The modern, built-up part of Manila

Sun falling over battleships in Manila Bay

My Filipino buddy that I’d just met, testin’ out the sweet new pair of tits I got for him

“I jus dun jack-oft in dere!” – Cletus the slack-jawed yokel on his most recent gator-greasing

Hussy’s looked a little too scuzzy so we ended up at a spot called G-Place which wasn’t much better

Hangin’ at G-Place with Christina – one from the handful of homeless people I chose to take out to dinner and get wasted on my last night in Asia. Although she kept coughin’ from TB, she jokingly insisted that “I choking on my tooth” while pointing to the void in her smile.

I hope the tooth fairy left her something good for that haul

The stereotypical old, lonely sailor drowning his sorrow in a tall frosty mug – his life, his love & his lady is the sea

The best midget bar of all time

Headline News: “Midget couple weds after living for 17 years” – did they mean “living together” or are they just amazed that midgets made it all the way to age seventeen and eloped?

One of the Hobbit waitresses. Most every worker at the bar had been a little person but I can’t exactly remember whether the bouncers were or not. They’d probably have a pretty tough time controlling a bar-room riot unless they were all trained by Puppet, “The Psycho dwarf” half-pint brawler

Joven & Christina with her aforementioned missing tooth really starting to feel the liquor

Me n Joven poundin’ fuckin’ Red Horses so hard y’all probably thinkin’ we zoophiliacs or some shit

At this point, Joven is still hangin’ in there, but Christina is on her last legs after her first ever glass of wine.

And she gone. It’s a shame she couldn’t make it to the after-bar beggar’s banquet I held to get more homeless Filipinos fed and wasted.

The cost of getting Joven and the rest of the homeless party posse who sleep on the sidewalk at Manila bay fed ’til they’re full and fall-down shitfaced: $250. The memory of getting Joven and the rest of the homeless party posse who sleep on the sidewalk at Manila bay fed ’til they’re full and fall-down shitfaced: Priceless