Azerbaijan

Baku & Transit from the Georgian Border

: Walking across the border from Georgia to Azerbaijan…

: Once having made it through passport control, I hopped in a mashrutka, or shared taxi cab, and headed for the capital.

: Friendly dude I was sitting next to who did his best to communicate with me via charades

: Azerbaijani passport

: Old couple at a rest stop somewhere between the border and Baku

: Man in suit enjoying a nice cup of tea

: On the way to the pisser…

: …I met some Azerbaijani fellows who kept talking to me in their native tongue despite it being obvious I hadn’t been understanding a word.

: This guy did the same shit

: Also near the bathroom of this secluded rest area had been a playground with animals for children to ride. Naturally, upon seeing this, I called my mashrutka driver over to join me for a SUCK IT! photo.

: Suck it donkey!

: The driver’s son had been deathly afraid of the donkey. Perhaps he’d been violated by one as a child? Not sure, but here’s a pic of this proud pop taking a photo of his son overcoming his fears.

: Rocky terrain just outside Baku during our arrival at dusk

: Once in Baku, here I am following the dude from the mashrutka who offered to help me find my hostel

: Inside a Baku metro station

: I forget which stop I was at, but beautiful mosaics covered the walls.

: Who dat be?

: Ouch!

: Toga! Toga! Toga!

: Lifting a horse? Nothing Izzy Mandelbaum couldn’t handle

: What’s that thing he’s got on a leash there?

: This scene looks like it should be part of a Rocky montage

: Many major cities that had once been in the USSR built their metros deep underground so they could also double as bomb shelters.

: Outside whatever station I ended up at

: The 620-foot-tall Flame Towers as seen by night. Completed in 2012, the facades of the Flame Towers are turned into gigantic display screens by more than 10,000 LED lights. Can you imagine hacking into the system and putting Meatspin on those things? That’d be amazing.

: The area around my hostel at night

: Same deal

: Little art stand I passed by

: Cookie duster

: Old stone corridor

: Chip companies adapt flavors to every country’s tastes. Heard they just came out with a Pepsi flavored chip in Japan.

: Dude selling souvenir trinkets in Old City Baku

: Flame Towers in the distance

: Better view of the Flame Towers

: A date in the park

: Dude reading a newspaper and possibly taking a crap beside the tree he’s smashing his fist into

: Suck it Azeri hat!

: A German girl with whom I explored the city

: Old man kickin’ it in Old Town

: Close-up of my man in the picture previous

: Catapult

: Old City

: Modern Baku

: Metro station

: Dude preparing some sort of shawarma that I was about to crush for lunch

: The beginning of the trek up to the Flame Towers

: View from the hill where the Flame Towers stand

: Mosque at the base of one of the towers. 95% of Azerbaijan is Muslim. Of that, 85% are Shia and 15% Sunni.

: Shot from the bottom

: The flag of Azerbaijan blowing in the foreground and the Baku TV tower in the distance

: Gardener women protecting themselves from the sun

: Some sort of governmental building

: 2 of the 3 Flame Towers

: Martyrs’ Mosque?

: Martyrs’ Lane – a cemetery and memorial dedicated to those killed by the Soviet Army during Black January and later to those killed in the Nagorno-Karabakh war.

: Flurrrrrz

: Baku TV Tower as seen through the eternal flame memorial

: As the name suggests, the eternal flame memorial is constantly alight and is powered by what smelled like natural gas.

: The headstones of Martyrs’ Lane

: A few of the martyrs

: Couple young Azeri bros hangin’ out near the monument

: View of the Caspian from the monument

: The Flame Towers as seen from Martyrs’ Lane

: Old whip

: New whip. Fresh crib.

: An off-the-beaten-path route through a construction site that the German girl and I took in our quest to the TV tower

: There’s supposedly a restaurant at the top of the Baku TV Tower but we simply could not find the entrance to it.

: Baku and the Caspian from the base of the TV tower

: Oil rig?

: The not-as-nice side of Baku seen from near the TV tower

: Love at first sight

: Local shop

: Shopkeeper

: A woman we encountered who’d been struggling to carry her groceries up a hill.

: The German girl and I helped carry the load up the hill and she was so thankful that…

: …she invited us into her home. Neither of us spoke Azeri or Russian, so the visit was short-lived.

: 2 couches, 1 car

: Very long pedestrian underpass beneath one of the unnecessarily wide thoroughfares of the capital city

: National Flag Square. The Azerbaijani flag pictured is 70 by 35 meters and the pole is 162 meters high. This had been the tallest in the world until overtaken by Dushanbe, Tajikistan’s 165 meter pole.

: Lovers gettin’ jiggy along the shore of the Caspian. Their eyes were closed and they were about to kiss one another when I snuck up from behind and put my dick between their faces and they each kissed it simultaneously

: Dudes gettin’ they mow on along the shore

: Fashion shoot

: Lawnmowers taking a break

: Belly boy

: Eurovision is a song contest and I guess it was held there in 2012. But it’s April 2013 already, get over yourselves – time to take it down!

: Rug-shaped carpet factory in Baku

: The Bulvar area seemed to be quite a popular area for locals to hang out

: 450-year-old olive tree from Southern Italy. Okay, so maybe it sprouted 450 years ago, but how long has this ratty old stump been dead for?

: Cool bros

: NEEDLE DICK!

: Mother & daughter

: Dude in a Guy Fawkes mask walking in Bulvar

: Statue diplomacy

: Thought maybe this chick was from Chicago on account of her Bears sweatshirt but she didn’t speak a word of English

: “Old friends, sat on their park bench like bookends” – Simon & Garfunkel

: Slightly closer shot of the old friends

: Political shit

: A street near Bulvar

: Family portrait being taken in a studio

: Painting of the way life used to be in Old Baku

: Ridin’ dirty

: Beautiful but probably really easily breakable stuff

: Some o’ dat old man art ‘n’ shit

: Baku on a rainy day

: Maiden Tower

: Some old rocky sculpture shit

: Local salesman

: Cop regulating board games?

: One more street scene highlighting the Flame Towers in the distance

: Suit Guy

: Lazy Boy

: Statues

: Statue

: Baku at night

: 1USD = about .78AZN

: 100% yummy for only 2 manat? I’m in!!!

: A photo of myself photographing the Buddha

: The beer that started one of the worst blackouts I’ve ever had.

: I ripped a few shots with this Turkish guy who bought them for me just because we were wearing the same shirt. I’ll take the time to write the whole tale another time complete with photos, but as for now, here are a few sample shots from this epic 12-hour blackout…

: The next morning, I guess I’d still been wandering around flipping people off and shit

: No idea who these guys are or where I encountered them

: Same deal. No idea. Nevertheless, this picture was on my camera when I emerged from said blackout.