Malaysia

Kuala Lumpur

: The entire metropolitan area of Kuala Lumpur, the capital of Malaysia, has a population of somewhere between five and six million.

: Malaysian Ringgit. At the time of my visit, 1USD = approximately 3.33MYR

: Thanks to the slot that said “Wang INSERT” next to it, I almost mistook the machine from where you obtain tickets to ride the publc train as some sort of sex robot.

: The Klang River and all the accompanying street art as seen from the Pasar Seni (“central market” in Malay) LRT stop

: The following handful of photos are of the art along the banks of the Klang River.

: Malaya Heroes

: Tunku Abdul Rahman was the first Prime Minister of Malaya and served from 1957-1963.

: Sour puss

: Graffiti along the Klang River which runs beside the Kelana Jaya LRT line depicting a kid looking out the train window at the graffiti along the river. Confusing enough for you?

: Rippin’ shit up

: Green guys and a Muslim girl

: The flag of Malaysia. The 14 stripes represent the equal status of the thirteen states in the federation in addition to the federal government. The 14 point star represents the unity between these entities. The crescent moon represents Islam, Malaysia’s national religion.

: “Love” borne from the sucking of a fag

: Who dat?

: “NIRVANA NEVERMIND” – One of the more random taggings I came across

: A tagging I see somewhere in every country

: Icy lookin’

: Map of Malaysia

: Some street food vendors near the Masjid Jamek LRT stop

: Same chick but a different view of her assortment

: KL poverty

: Area near the central market

: Although the majority of Malaysia is made up of native Southeast Asians, there’re quite a few people of Chinese and Indian ancestry living in the country.

: Portraits from an art gallery at the central market

: More portraits

: Peek inside another art gallery

: More

: Silly shit

: Yep

: Selling newspapers out the back of his van near Pasar Seni

: Old colonial buildings juxtaposed against modern KL near the central market

: Fat jugs

: Muslim women walking along the confluence of the Klang and Gombak Rivers with Masjid Jamek – or, Jamek Mosque – in the background.

: “FUCK” – I have no statistics to back this up and maybe my perception is skewed because it stands out to me… Nevertheless, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, “FUCK” is the most commonly spraypainted English word around the world.

: Dat ass. Dem Titties.

: Saw this one quite a bit around the capital

: Portrait

: Portrait

: More portraits

: Another portrait

: Muslim clerk at Mamak stall

: Sikh brah

: Man pouring “teh tarik” – a black tea prepared with condensed milk – that is considered the national drink of Malaysia.

: A glass of teh tarik with roti canai – the flatbread on the right there – served with curry and a fishy chili sauce for the dippin’

: One-armed man

: Gruesome images slapped on every pack of smokes in hopes of deterring tobacco usage

: Entrance to Sin Sze Si Ya Temple

: The Sin Sze Si Ya Temple was founded by local hero Kapitan Yap Ah Loy in 1864 and is dedicated to patron deities of Sin Sze Ya and Si Sze Ya.

: The deities supposedly guided Kapitan Yap Ah Loy to defeat the enemies and defend Kuala Lumpur during the 1870-1873 Civil War.

: Statues around the temple

: Same

: Burning incense to give alms to the deities

: Same

: Where’s Waldo on the left

: Old woman making “money” at the temple which can be…

: …set on altars as homage to the deities as it has been here next to this old man as he sparks up some incense.

: Main altar

: Door at the main entrance

: Imperial guardian lion. These come in pairs – one male and one female. Under the female’s left paw there is a lion cub representing nurture. Male lions are almost always depicted with a ball under their paws to represent their supremacy over the world.

: Nap time at the Chinese temple

: Badass beard at Sin Sze Si Ya Temple

: Street musician

: “SHUT UP AND DRINK!”

: Bob

: Vendor near Sri Mahamariamman Hindu Temple

: Old buildings near Sri Mahamariamman Temple

: The monumental tower – or “gopuram” – at the entrance of Sri Mahamariamman Temple.

: This gopuram depicts images of 228 Hindu deities

: Gopuram up close

: Same

: Decoration along the roof of the main prayer hall inside Sri Mahamariamman Temple

: Shirtless dudes gettin’ ready for a ritual

: Just scopin’ out the scene from the balcony above the main prayer hall

: Kickin’ it

: Around the temple…

: Art

: More art

: Ash distribution

: Part of a ritual

: Tooting his horn

: One day I’m gonna show up to a Catholic Mass without a shirt on and see how well that goes over with the congregation and the pastor.

: I like to imagine this guy spends his days driving around on his motorcycle, giving people the finger and saying the line “fuck you buddy” to everybody he meets, but he probably don’t roll like that.

: Petaling Street in Chinatown

: Food distribution at a Chinese restaurant

: Selling chicken at the market near Chinatown

: Selling desserts on Petaling Street

: Smilin’ homeless “uncle”

: Another juxtaposition of old and new

: Locals

: Woman in salwar kameez

: Malaysians of Indian descent

: Homeless dude looking into an abandoned building

: Muslim man

: Abandoned building

: The KL Tower in the background

: Muslim women in hijab. Locally, they refer to the headscarf as a “tudung” which means “cover.”

: Masjid Jamek – or Jamek Mosque – opened in 1909 and was designed by Arthur Benison Hubback who I’m pretty sure wasn’t Muslim.

: Dude standing inside Masjid Jamek which was closed to tourists during my visit

: Would you rather shop at “Potty’s” or…

: …”JUNK”?

: Women waiting at the bus stop

: Dude selling nanners

: Silverware is 4 Pussiez. Man eating a meal from a banana leaf in a south Indian style restaurant

: Some more graffiti near Pasar Seni LRT station

: Robot face

: Lookin’ to bone down

: Yep

: Petronas twin towers illuminated in this depiction

: Another robot lookin’ ass

: Crossing the street

: Malay drink vendor near Pasar Seni wearing tudung

: Not the easiest to see in this blurry-ass photo, but the numbers “4” and “14” have been omitted from this elevator in my apartment building. I think this is because in Chinese, their word for “four” is homophonous with their word for “death” so it is considered very unlucky. Here, the fourth and fourteenth floors have been replaced with the labels “3A” and “13A.”

: Long-haired freak

: It’s hard to find any area of Kuala Lumpur that’s not under construction in 2014. I was told that this is because Malaysia plans for KL to be ranking among the world’s most modern cities by the year 2020. I’d also been told that construction doesn’t go quite as fast as it should because it rains so fuckin’ much in Malaysia.

: STOP

: “I LIKE WHERE THIS IS GOING” – I’m upset I wasn’t able to get a photo of the shirt I saw that said “show me yours and i’ll show you mine.”

: SUCK IT! Petronas Towers

: It was pretty cool to hang out for an hour or so watching people from all over the world posing in front of the twin towers

: Most shots were taken like this to get the right angle

: Smile!

: “1 MALAYSIA”

: Petronas Towers from down the block

: Crossin’ the street, headin’ over to the twin towers

: Waiting for the bus

: A photographer dedicated to getting the right angle at PT

: A Sudanese dude wearing a “WE A<-->RE NOT OVER!” shirt. I have no idea why “are” is written like that.

: Posing for a photo

: Family portrait at Petronas Towers

: “Allo?”

: The Sudanese man in the goofy t-shirt that says “We’re Not Over” with his woman and child in front of the Petronas Towers

: Mother and child at PT

: Although, disappointingly, you can’t see the whole thing, this dude had been smoking a hookah out of his backpack. In his left hand is the mouthpiece. I’ve never seen that done before.

: Baby girl next to a dumpy butt at the KLCC LRT station

: Inside KLCC LRT station

: Trio selling magic cards and such at the Bangsar LRT station

: Just the girls

: Upon hearing where I’m from, this dude said, “Oh She-cah-go? My friend live there. He tell me it so cold right now that the water in the toilet is frozen so when he go to make a poo-poo, it just sit there in a pile.”

: This chick had six fingers. I’d still do her though.

: My friend Miriam posing with some of the Indian food she’d been teaching me about

: “wtf” the restaurant

: A lot of cars in KL had stickers professing the owner’s religious ideals. Here’s one for Islam.

: Here’s one for Christianity.

: Here’s one for Buddhism.

: A lot of people also had these McDonald’s “DRIVE-THRU VIP” stickers on their windshields. Kinda gay, in my opinion.

: Reppin’ the colonel

: Starbucks drive-thru pimp

: Nap time

: Plastic construction worker. The unions would throw a shit-fit over this in Chicago even though the sign-holders and flag-wavers of the crew are THAT easily replacable.

: Do they have authorized written consent from the Disney Corporation to use that image of Mickey Mouse on the sign of their two-bit restaurant?

: That guy swallows more loads than a porn star.

: Interesting t-shirts for sale around KL in January of 2014…

: All employees at the local rub-n-tugs should be required to wear these shirts

: As soon as the keg is gone, the six pack will be revealed

: skankin-ass, ho-ass, slut-ass

: “FUCK YOU”

: Foot job central

: Yo man, dat Ludacris!!!

: Muslim market near where we’d eaten lunch

: View of the Petronas Towers as seen from the observation deck atop the KL Tower

: The rest of KL

: It says “WANG” – hehehehehe

: It says “Titi” and “wang” – hehehehe

: My bro, Tim Osh hangin’ out with “The Midgetist.” For the story behind this name, copy and paste this link http://average-volcano.flywheelsites.com/pages-from-the-good-book/chapter-14-malaise-ia/

: View from my apartment at sunset. If you look closely towards the center of this photo…

: …you can see a highrise on fire.

: Kuala Lumpur as seen from my apartment in the wee hours of the morning. Bye bye, KL!

Batu Caves

: The Batu Caves are located eight miles north of Kuala Lumpur in the Gombak district of a state called Selangor.

: Gate leading to the entrance of the caves

: Head and shoulders

: Statue of deity Lord Murugan – the Hindu patron of Tamil land. These caves serve as one of the most popular Hindu shrines in the world outside India.

: Murugan statue standng in front of the 272 stair entrance to the hollow interior of the overbearingly large limestone structure where Hindu shrines are located

: View of the steep-ass climb to the top

: Tim Osh takin’ photos of the monkeys that were constantly trying to steal snacks and water bottles from tourists

: Reaching the entrance and…

: …looking back down to see some ritualistic stuff going on right behind us.

: Inside the caves

: On one of the shrines

: Spelunking spot?

: Throwing ash on the same three guys I’d seen upon entering the caves

: Same

: One more of Lord Murugan on the way out

Genting Highlands

: Sign seen at the bus station en route to the Genting Highlands

: Lobby of the First World Hotel in the Genting Highlands

: As it turns out, t-shirts and basketball shorts were not considered proper casino attire. So, here’s Tim Osh and I buying the cheapest pants and shirts we could find to meet casino dress code standards. Despite all intention of playing blackjack then returning our outfits after having our fun at the casino, we couldn’t find a blackjack table and, when we got done playing roulette – our second choice, the bastards at this shop only offered to give back store credit. Total bust of a day – suck it Genting Highlands!

: Worst magician ever who did nothing more than pull toilet paper out of his hat

: “Bad form, Peter Pan”

: Cable car back to Kuala Lumpur after our visit to the Genting Highlands