“FUCK YA ALL!!!” “eat SHIT$” next to what looks like a load-launching donger
“Society, you’re crazy indeed. Hope you’re not lonely without me!” (Stabbing self in stomach) “LUV YA ALL!!!”
Burmese dog ‘n’ kid in their former-capital-city crib
Kinda hard – if not impossible – to see, but in Myanmar they drive on the right side of the road even though the steering wheel is located on the right side of the car
Shwedagon Pagoda
Entrance to Shwedagon Pagoda up close
Monks in different shaded robes givin it up to Buddha
Sick mustache
Shwede Balls Pagoda from the inside
Big Snake
Goldmember
Same mustache man now with a jacket on?
Dreamy
Almsgivers sporting umbrellas to keep the 95 degree sun from raping their faces
Say your prayers
Burmese electricians have no need for ladders
One of the few unkempt mansions en route between Shwedagon and Sule Pagodas
Mansions like the one in the picture previous rarely come without extreme security measures
Praise Jesus they didn’t have shit like this in the hood during my fence-hopping days. Guts’d be drippin’
Nevertheless, the natural plant life in the area often covered and made up for the ugly barbed wire and broken glass home defense systems
Barbed wire distraction
Flurrrz
There were more Catholic churches in Burma than I’d been expecting…Dat’s da British influence for your ass
I have no idea what the sickle & hammer has to do with Christianity
Sule Pagoda – Downtown Yangon
Downtown Yangon
Bustling street on the Indian side of town
Burmese Indian father & daughter feeding the pigeons
Dudes n chicks alike walk up and down the street donning these primitive implements, shouting and selling food products to their fellow bros n hoz of Yangon
Street vender selling the delicious local dish “mohinga” which is best enjoyed at a miniature plastic table far too tiny for the ass of a full-grown adult
My man sellin areca nut and betel leaves which are chewed by men, women and children alike who get a nicotene-like buzz from the shit as well as horrendously red-stained teeth
The effect of chewing too much areca nut/betel leaves – vampire/zombie mouf with the occasional red dribble running dried-up down their cheeks ‘n’ chins
Women arguing at a local market. I can’t believe more people don’t get sick the way the meat sits out in the 90 degree sun day after day until it gets sold
Guy in a goofy-lookin’ costume collectin’ cash at a Yangon street festival
Band on the Run – Mobile musicians at aforementioned Yangon street festival
Same street fest. Who said ladyboys don’t exist in Burma?
Sule Pagoda from a bridge on the other side of town with one of the coolest clock towers I’ver ever seen on the left.
Sun-weathered broad beggin’ for Kyats
Photographing Indian people might’ve been my favorite part of hanging out in Yangon
A “saikka” or “side car” in English which seemed to be the most popular form of rickshaw in Yangon
Standard-looking building in the heart of the city
Bunch of dudes who ain’t got jobs just kickin’ it n playin’ Pachisi on the streets
Another jobless guy who may have a future in male modeling…well, that or gay porn
My best imitation of the bum in the picture previous
Government building across from Sule Pagoda
Tattoo monk chillin’ at Sule Pagoda
Sule Pagoda
The Supreme Court of Burma
Same shit, different zoom
Honestly Burmese kid, who doesn’t think Brian Peppers is gay?
Pack of wifebeaters named after one of my favorite 80s songs
Mr. Acmee’s been rollin’ with STD’s since 1956 and still hasn’t kicked the bucket yet. Magic Johnson got nothin’ on this motherfucker.
Myanmar is known as “The Golden Land” and during my time there I saw quite a few men like this one who represented their native land by dying their facial hair that very color. That and/or he’d just returned from a Hajj.
Bagan
Beginning of the sunrise in Old Bagan
Breaking through the clouds
Someone’s gettin’ high
Mystical
Morning Eclipse
Horse & buggy driver in the ubiquitous Burmese man-skirt known as “longyi”
Htilominlo Temple
Whereas horse & buggy transportation is the best way for wealthy and/or elderly white visitors to get from temple to temple…
…outrageously packed motorized vehicles with mofos hangin’ off all sides tend to be the preferred Burmese way around town.
The Burmese have no qualms whatsoever about riding on the roof of speeding vehicles
Ananda Phaya – one of the oldest temples in Bagan
Burmese kids smokin’ cigs at the temple
Inside Ananda Phaya
Ananda Phaya in art
Big Red
The hottest t-shirt-selling broad in all of Bagan
Farmer’s home amidst scattered ruins in Old Bagan near Minnanthu Village
Farmers tendin’ to their crops
“Living room” of a bamboo hut in Mannanthu Village complete with local movie star pin-ups
Kitchen of the same house. The “stove” is on the right
A female villager with her big-headed baby
Granny rollin’ up the splifs…
And this broad next to her smokin’ ’em up
Exhale
Pa-goat-a
Bovine melon-chowing session
Sunset over Old Bagan
Other on-lookers posted up on adjacent temples to watch the sunset
Burmese sunfall
Gettin’ low
My shitty pictures cannot do this view justice
Twilight’s last gleaming
Bye-bye
Mandalay
Base of Mandalay Hill
Buddha faced. The dangling ear lobes remind me of this old man teacher from my high school whose ears hung low that we not-so-cleverly referred to as “Mr. Lobes”
Dude doin’ art with nothing more than paper, ink and a razor blade
The fruits of my man’s labor
Sunset from atop Mandalay Hill
Sandamuni Paya
Mandalay Hill up behind Sandamuni Paya
Slightly Stupa’d
Sandamuni Paya party
Starflower Tree of Kuthodaw Pagoda. It’s horizontal branches were too heavy for its own power and required extracurricular support.
Mandalay is the hub of commerce, trade, ideas and, as one shop owner who was over-eager to sell his products had told me, art from all the local tribes native to northern Burma. The following are some pieces from his collection that I did not buy…
3 Musketeers
Jugz
Gollum?
Chicago cop stash
See no evil, say no evil, hear no evil
All strung out
Kayan broad carving
Stanley Ipkiss potential
Although they did have a few of the traditional refueling stations that I’m used to seeing in developed countries – this is the poor Burmese man’s version of a gas station
Didn’t think this sort of thing was as popular here as it appeared in neighboring Thailand but even in Myanmar skin-whitening products apparently lead to handsomeness
Big Hooter at one of the most bizarre monastery/temples I’ve ever seen
Entrance to this bizarre realm of which I cannot remember the name or find any information on via the www
Humpty-Dumpty lookin’ ass
Chocolate ice cream cone in his left hand?
Snake-enveloped, lobe-danglin’ Buddha action
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Reptile hairpiece lookin’ ass
Buddha throwin’ down the shocker – total respek
“I like tuddles”
Ain’t nothin’ but a Buddha party
Exorcist head spinning type shit
Unbelievably, I was the only living boy in this entire complex – Eastern or Western – just walking around an abandoned monastery full of statues who’d been doing all the worshipping
They come to life when no one’s around
Fist-pumping almsgiver on the right
For some reason, one of the big attractions in Mandalay is sticking cameras in the faces of hungry monks who line up to get their meals at a local monastery
I didn’t really get the big attraction and actually found it absurd how many people gathered to watch this shit
“The monk bought lunch” – Jim Morrison, “The Soft Parade” 1969
Fisherman at U Bein bridge spending his early afternoon casting lines and sippin’ on a local nectar known as Hero Whisky
Hero Whisky – I actually preffered the rival brand, ‘Limp-Dicked Loser Whisky’
Bridge beggar hangin’ out on U Bein
While the fisherman of Amarapura got plowed on Hero Whisky, the farmers were hard at work plowing the fields
Hide-whippin’ cattle driver
How the other half lives
Another bridge beggar further down the way
Sad eyes
A more actively engaged, non-whiskey sippin’ fisherman puttin’ in work
Villager ardently sharpening sticks for one reason or another
A Burmese baby with a mask of the traditional thanaka face paint. Derived from the bark of the tree with the same name, this golden paste is applied to the face mostly by Burmese women and children for its cosmetic properties, protection from the sun as well as a show of national pride.
Old ruins in Pinya. If you look very, very closely, an orphaned puppy stands guard in the doorway of the temple on the right
Pinya puppy
“No Enter – The danger can be occur by (11.11.2012) Earthquake.” Looks like I only missed the temple-toppling assquake by a week
Almost two century-old swimming pool at the Ava Palace site in Inwa built for spoiled Burmese princesses to have topless chickenfights in back in the day
Old-ass stone yellow temple – Inwa, Myanmar
From splendor to shit
Manbearpig
Toiling away another day
Shwenandaw Monastery – An old woody erected in 1880
A woman juggling two children while balancing a cage full of birds on her head. Hope that cage has a bottom and my girl ain’t gettin’ all shitfaced
I don’t even want to think about how long it took to carve in all the intricate details on this temple
Monkey Man
Inle Lake
Village house – Inle Lake
Think any of these houses got wi-fi?
“TATMADAW (the Burmese army) AND THE PEOPLE CO-OPERATE AND CRUSH ALL THOSE HARMING THE UNION”
Stray cow
Townies cruisin’ on a boat
This guy pulled up and clung onto our boat waving the one pitifully small fish he caught then got all pissed off when we didn’t give him any money for snapping a picture of his goofy ass
Fishermen in Inle Lake are known for their unique foot-paddling technique
I think that, when foot-paddling, the awkward-looking yet very effective movements of these fishermen resemble the way Vincent D’Onofrio walked as the “sugar…in water” bug-alien guy from the first Men In Black flick
One more foot-paddling fool for the road
Gongbangers
Monks with cauldrons full of Boner Soup
“Pharmacy” at an Inle Lake floating market
Individually wrapped chicken foot on sale at the “pharmacy”
Banana-slinger
Old Burmese women love smoking cigars
Burmese bros love napping on boats
Another candid of a serial napper
Bowling-pin-lookin-asses
They ain’t doin’ the YMCA, but here’s a shot of some Village People
Bathing, dishwashing and laundry are all done in this water. I did not witness anyone using it as a bathroom but I do have my suspicions
One of many tribal women doing backbreaking labor while the men sit on their asses all day
You go girl
Suckin’ it…
…blowin’ it
I ain’t want none dem avocados!
“DONATION FOR TOILET” at a local monastery. I dropped my pants, squatted over this box and contributed the same type of big, brown, stinky donation that I normally give to other toilets
A no-armed, one-and-a-half legged man doing beautiful artwork, decorating boxes with a paintbrush wedged between his toes
Yours truly throwing down a SUCK IT alongside some long-necked deep-throat professionals
Street view of a village on the lake. Venice of the East?
Laundry day
Dangerous homemade powerlines a stiff breeze away from having the toaster-in-the-bathtub effect on the whole village
More cribs on stilts
Faceless fisherman creeping along
Bago
The most interesting facet about taking a day trip to Bago is the rocky two-hour train ride from Yangon that made me feel as if I were in a giant paint can shaker.
Overgrown railroad tracks which, along some parts of the route, looked as if they doubled as a garbage dump.
Pic that pretty much sums up the ride out to Bago. “No smoking” up in the left hand corner but, as is evidenced by the hand on the bottom right, that is merely a suggestion.
Bago ticketing office for return tickets to Yangon
Bago railyard
Bago skyline highlighted by the 375 ft. tall Shwemadaw Pagoda – the tallest in the country
One of two strange altars at a Bago hilltop temple
Here’s the other
Some visitors at Shwemadaw Pagoda take cover from the sun under a bizarre shaped tree…
…while others rely on their trusty umbrellas.
Faded photograph of a decrepit old monk playing with his snake at a place appropriately known as Snake Pagoda
Snake/Buddha collabo for this statue
People gather around this snake all day to pray, take pictures and throw money at it.
Everyone seemed to have a strange religious fascination with this snake
Burmese Steven Seagal with a fistful of cash at the Snake Temple
View in the distance from the top of Snake Temple. A lovely garbage dump with scrappy children playing in it.
Temple art. Bizarre Jesse Jackson lookalike
Depressing group of dudes gettin’ fucked up, smokin’ cigs with no girls around. I know that game all too well
Intergalactic romance
More awesome temple art. I wish we had green fire-throwing mofos in our catechism
Spiteful Elephant
Icarus wannabe
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Moonraker Elite
Enlightenment
Studious monks learnin’ it up, yo. Wonder if the jag-offs sit in the back of the class chuckin’ shit around and shining laser-pointers at the teacher the way kids get down in the good ol’ US of A
You ever seen a sky with such a deep shade of blue?
SUCK IT with the Buddhas!
Assisting the Buddha in a booger pick. I told a kid selling stuff that if he could climb up into and pose for a picture from the Buddha’s ear that I’d buy all the postcards he’d been selling. The thing’s so big he couldn’t even make it up onto the Buddha’s arm but tried diligently which I have nothing but respect for.
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A very Bagan-esque temple on the outskirts of Bago
Anatomically correct statue of a manbeast at a temple complete with a puckered-up butthole
Super gay statue with a cell phone tucked into his waistband and his joint dangling over my face
Ah, yes, one of my last sights in Burma. The quintessential Asian flat top on which you could balance a bucket of paint.
