A young Chicagoan's strange erotic journey around the globe
United Arab Emirates
My main man Luzzi in front of his sister’s building at the Palm Jumeirah – the manmade archipelago off Dubai’s coast in the shape of a palm tree
First glimpse of the skyline. Dubai is not very pedestrian friendly. Everything’s pretty spread out
The Luzzbuster throwin’ down a SUCK IT!
A sighting of the Burj Khalifa in the distance
“Cool Story Babe…Now Make Me A Sandwich”
Man-made monsters on each side of the road
Me, showin’ off the Sheikh (pronounced “shake”) hat
Yo Luzz, you want fries with that Sheikh?
The Dirham – 1USD=approximately 3.6AED
Cartier Luzz at The Dubai Mall
Guys standing in front of The Dubai Mall aquarium, the largest in the world
“Souk” is the Arabic word for “market” or “marketplace”
Inside The Souk
Swagger on a hundred thousand trillion
Pervin’ out on the magic lamp
I think it’s hilarious that people in the middle of the desert play ice hockey and figure skate
Shops full of shit I’d have to sell my organs to afford…and when I say “sell my organs” I’m not making a clever reference to male prostitution, I really mean sell my organs.
In most Arab cultures, it’s considered an extreme insult to throw a shoe at someone, (ahem, Random Task “Honestly, who throws a shoe?”) but I wonder if it’s extra-insulting if you were to throw a shoe that costs more than most people’s houses…
The sign below these things said, “Feel free to touch my balls.”
Throwin’ “A-Rab Money” up in dis’ place, yo!
Diving statues in the fountain
Ohhh Luzzbuster Ohhh!
Outside The Dubai Mall…mercy, mercy me
“Sheikh” it for me, baby
SUCK IT! in the desert
Luzz rockin’ the local “picnic head” look
Fuckin’ boner silhouette
The Luzzbuster with a raging silhouette boner
Camel jockey Luzz
Tourist family taking a camel ride
Birdman Luzz didn’t know he had to pay to hold this thing until afterwards. Doh!
Luzz chowin’ an imaginary box while haulin’ ass
Dear friends and family,
From Dubai with love,
Tim & Mike
Dancers in costumes that performed after our camel ride
Rugs for sale
“‘Sheikh’ it like a salt shaker, ‘sheikh’ it like a salt shaker…make that pussy fart for the Ying Yang Twins”
Hookahs and Pringles – what more could you ask for?
Look at all those camel toes
Nighttime stop at The Dubai Mall. It was either this or go to a bar and bang whores – there really wasn’t much else to do in the city and I stand by our decision.
Dubai Mall Courtesy Policy
Fast & the Furious, Part 17: DUI in Dubai
Local dude posing with a camel in The Souk
At 2,722 feet, the Burj Khalifa is the tallest manmade structure in the world
“Can I borrow this car to film a rap video?”
“TITS” written in sand. God, I love tits…
Palm Jumeirah at sunset
Here’s where we went to brunch and where I blacked out really hard and wasn’t allowed into the bar afterwards because I was falling down by three in the afternoon.
The funniest part about blacking out at brunch was being dressed like a total jag-off
It’s a shame Luzzi hadn’t purchased this Ferrari jumpsuit a few days earlier and worn it to black out in at brunch
SUCK IT! brunch!
The Mexican brunch station…
…the Italian brunch station…
…and the Buster groping the statue at the Indian brunch station.
Leaving the brunch I guess I was trying to make parking attendants do a SUCK IT! However, I was blacked out and don’t remember any of this…
I’m guessing I was trying to bang this lady
C’mon bro, do a SUCK IT! All the cool kids are doing it!
I love finding photos like this on my camera the day after a blackout. Just hope I didn’t bang this guy…
Guess I also went to a car show…
The day after our drunken brunch. Luzz chillin’ out at Mall of the Emirates
More mall shit
Hittin’ the slopes
I’ll show YOU a six-inch tube
Inside Mall of the Emirates
Hijab girls covering their faces in the bottom left of the photo because they thought I was trying to photograph them. “Yeah, I’m trying to take a picture of you in your new ten-thousand dollar outfit you’re hiding beneath a black cloak…get real.”
Krispy Kreme donuts?
One last shot of the skyline
Passing photo of Aldar Headquarters, a circular Abu Dhabi skyscraper which stands 360 feet tall
Pulling up to Sheikh Zayed Grand Mosque in Abu Dhabi
According to Wikipedia, this mosque cost $545 million USD to build and can hold over 40,000 people
Yeah, you visit that mosque, girl!
It’s big, it’s really big
Sheikh Zayed Grand Mosque has 82 domes of 7 different sizes
VIP Entry to a house of worship? Seems blasphemous…
Do we really need the word “CLEANER” written on the helps’ backs? It’s pretty obvious what they’re doing with those mops in their hands…
Heading to the interior
Luzz in the courtyard
Courtyard shot #1
Courtyard shot #2
Some sort of vestibule area leading to the main prayer hall
Inside the main prayer hall
“The Sheikh Zayed Grand Mosque has seven imported chandeliers from Germany which incorporate millions of Swarovski crystals.”
Part of the floor
Random fact: “Chandelier” was one of my favorite words to say as a 4 or 5-year-old