A young Chicagoan's strange erotic journey around the globe
Taken from across a body of water known as the Golden Horn, here is a photo of the Galata/Karakoy neighborhood in Istanbul
As seen in the photo previous, this is the Galata Tower which was built in 1348, stands at 219 feet tall and was only a half-block away from my hostel.
Fisherman selling bait along the Galata Bridge
Fisherman up close
The Hagia Sophia as seen on nice bright day
Shoes getting shined
On my way to the Grand Bazaar
Just outside the entrance
Nuruosmaniye Gate, entrance to the Grand Bazaar
With over 3000 shops, the Grand Bazaar is one of the largest and oldest covered markets in the world.
The GB attracts between 250,000 and 400,000 visitors daily
Beardo at the bazaar
Same dude facialized
Twisty ‘stache in the jewelry section
Old building in the Karakoy neighborhood
Face made of rotten, severed fingers?
My Iranian buddy Mahdi
How’s this for US-Iranian relations? SUCK IT!
Thought this drawing on a bench kind of looked like a zombie version of Will Smith
Street near Taksim Square
Lots of street musicians play on Istiklal Avenue, a 1.4 kilometer pedestrian street spanning from Galata Tower to Taksim Square
Rowdy Roddy Pied Piper
Bums getting drunk in the afternoon near Galata Tower
Models twerking on a motorbike
Corridor near Galata Tower
Earning a living
Christian church I found tucked away off Istiklal Avenue
Courtyard around the church and a little corridor leading back to Istiklal
One of the trippiest crucifix sculptures I’ve ever seen. Looks twisted as hell
Turkey is close to 99% Muslim
Handing out pamphlets for Turkish communist party
Istiklal Avenue – PACKED. Istanbul has a population of close to 14 million.
The historic red tram that goes up and down Istiklal
From a strange photo gallery on Istiklal
Crossing the Galata Bridge to the Eminonu/Fatih district of Istanbul
“Crap for sale!”
Dude selling pigeon feed
Just behind this guy, I’d taken shelter up against the wall when it started raining. I’d been eating ice cream at the time – vanilla to be exact – when one of the birds shit half on my ice cream and half on my hand. Since they were pretty much the same color, I initially thought that my ice cream had started to melt so I went to lick it and, THANKFULLY, at the last minute, saw the black and yellow clumps in the dump. I immediately tossed the cone in the garbage and tried to wash my hands.
The Hagia Sophia
H. Sophia from da back. From 537 until 1453, this place served as an Eastern Orthodox Cathedral except between 1204 and 1261 when it was a Roman Catholic cathedral under the Latin empire.
From May of 1453 until 1931, it served as a mosque.
View of the vestibule area facing the exterior doors
Ceiling and window of the vestibule area
Facing the doors leading to the interior
In 1931, the Hagia Sophia, which is Latin for “Holy Wisdom,” was secularized. On February 1, 1935, it opened as a museum.
Muslim shit juxtaposed against Christian shit
Here is the indentation in the wall known as a “mihrab” that indicates which direction for Muslim worshippers to face while praying. The thing on the right is the “mimbar,” or platform on which the imam sits when giving a sermon.
I’m convinced early Christians invented the shocker. So many dudes throw it up in ancient, religious art.
Time has taken its toll on these ones
I’m actually surprised the Muslims kept this Christian shit on the wall when they took over
So worn down
“Ain’t God just like an overhyped David Blaine?” – Ali G
“Thou shalt place two in thy pink and one in thy stink”
Man preparing Turkey’s famous Doner kebabs
I’d like probably definitely get so many bitches if I lived in that building, mostly, probably, about that.
Lotto tickets for sale on Istiklal Avenue. I believe that’s a security guard reading the paper there on the right.
The Republic Monument located in Taksim Square was unveiled on August 8, 1928 to commemorate the 1923 formation of the Turkish republic.
Taksim Square is a very popular place to feed the birds…
…or at least be surrounded by them.
Shittin’ all over the place
On the bottom right there is a man listening to his iPod and practicing his Dervish dancing.
Whirling Dervishes whirl as a form of “dhikr,” or “remembrance of God.”
Here’s a formal Whirling Dervish spin sesh I went to. The guys in the back play the music while…
…the other guys spin in circles.
I know it’s pretty shitty of me…
…but the whole time I sat watching this performance…
…I really wanted to dump a sack of marbles on the floor and see these guys slippin’ all over the place.
Two guys down at the bottom poundin’ brews on the park bench in front of a mosque. Despite of the population’s religious preference, attitudes towards alcohol are quite relaxed in Turkey.
Tag. You’re it.
Stroll down a random corridor at sunset.
What better way to reserve your parking spot than with jugs of your own piss?
One of the biggest ___fill in the blanks___ I’ve ever seen.
“You like-a da sauce?”
1USD = approximately 2 Turkish Lira (TRY)
Men fishing on Galata bridge with a view of Suleymaniye Mosque in the background.
Exterior of Suleymaniye Mosque
Tissue for sale
The Fatih neighborhood
Who buys this shit?
“I need that like I need another hole in the chin.”
Fascinated by his cigarette
I got asked by so many different hawkers if I wanted to buy a carpet that I thought this statue was gonna come to life and start pestering me.
Time for smoking!
Crouching puffer, hidden cancer
The SWASS COLLECTION: Pre-worn pants complete with dried-up perspiration stains on the posterior to help you achieve that elusive ‘sw’eaty ‘ass’ look.
When I get gay rim from my boyfriend…
…it makes me cum.
Would you like to play chess on my chest?
Street near Suleymaniye Mosque
I hate my job
Interesting building at a stop on the ferry between the Karakoy neighborhood on the European side of Istanbul and Kadikoy on the Asian side of the city.
Giant Pokémon ball on the Kadikoy side?
Turkish flag featuring Mustafa Kemal Ataturk. With Ataturk meaning “Father of the Turks,” MKA was the first president of the country and is credited with founding the Republic of Turkey.
Brothaz be jammin’
Would like to eat some hot corn while watching a hot porn
Feel like this same Brad Pitt as Tyler Durden stencil is used all over the world.
Stumbled across this weird old record shop which had a bunch of bizarre shit
Ain’t too short to box my clown if ya know what I mean, eh, eh?
Beardo on Istiklal Avenue
This face with a chef’s hat on looked eerily like a nutsack and a dangling penis with a smiley face on the head
A Turk stretching out Harry Potter’s back?
Strokin’ that G-string
The joker in front of Galata Tower
Why so Turkish?
A man sleeping in his office
Brilliant ‘stache, mate
Bieber duffel bag for sale
The Sultan Ahmed Mosque was built between 1609 and 1616.
The foot-washing area outside the mosque
Ceiling inside the Sultan Ahmed Mosque
Different view of the dome
As if breasts didn’t hypnotize me enough naturally!
The view of Karakoy from Fatih
Woman near the entrance of Topkapi Palace Museum
Family portrait at Topkapi
Muzzin’ around on the bench
Door inside Topkapi
The most unappealing name I can think of for a room at a palace
Bored with Topkapi
Old Turks chillin’
The theater of the ancient city of Ephesus from a distance
With an estimated capacity of 24,000, the Theater is believed to be the largest outdoor theater in the ancient world
Completed in the second century, this is the Library of Celsus
It’s widely believed that there was an underground tunnel leading from the library to a nearby brothel. It provides the perfect alibi.
Second floor window
The Gate of Augustus
Atop the Gate of Augustus
From the entrance
Suck dat thang, yo
I kinda feel like a REALLY strong gust of wind could knock this thing over
WHERE’S YOUR HEAD AT!?
A panoramic of the beast
A road to nowhere
View through the Gate of Augustus
Who can I sue if this doorway collapses on my head?
View of the library from afar
Stole the head of Jebediah Springfield
Cup of tea back in town
Massive bird’s nest
Flip u the bird
Apparently, even people in Turkey care about what Justin Bieber is up to
Hats off to Harper
In the background here are the snow white travertine terraces of Pamukkale
Heading closer. Although it was about 75 degrees on the day I visited, the hill in the background makes it look like I’m about to go skiing.
In Turkish, “Pamukkale” means “cotton castle.” This particular white “castle” is 8,860 feet long, 1,970 feet wide and 525 feet high.
Heading towards the top. According to Wikipedia, there are 17 hot springs in the area which carry calcium carbonate. Over the years, calcium carbonate has been deposited over this entire hill by the springs, been hardened and now exists as the travertine terraces.
Here’s a photo of the dividing line between the normal gravel ground and the area where the travertine terraces begin.
As shown by these guests carrying their sneakers, shoes are not allowed on the travertines to preserve their natural beauty
Close-up of where the snowy looking slopes begin
Here’s one of the hot spring pools on the way up. Pamukkale had a bit of an Antarctica feel to it
This had to be the most bizarre natural landscape I’ve ever walked on
Here’s what the ground looks like up close
Hot spring pools from the top
People splashing around in the hot springs
From the even higher hills above the top of the travertines, you could go powered paragliding to get an aerial view of this natural wonder.
Just like a giant staircase of hot spring pools
Same view zoomed in a bit
This is what the top of the hill looked like
It was hard for me to comprehend all these plants growing atop this massive, Arctic looking hill
HOW ARE YOU ALIVE?
View of the town where all the hotels and such are
View the other way
Speedo for splashing around in the hot springs
Here is a different vantage point from the top
Shit was crazy
Over there by all the people is the area where I climbed up
Travertine SUCK IT
Go for swim?
Heading back down
Bathers heading up
One last shot of one of the hot spring pools
Upon walking in the front gate here…
…there were old coffins scattered all over the grounds.
There seemed to be more of them than they knew what to do with
Up for an afternoon munging, anyone?
Pimp my coffin
Smokin’ ‘n’ coffin
Wake up and smell the coffin
Two modern shit shacks built right by…
…the monumental gateway, or tetrapylon.
The monumental gateway was built around 200 AD
From beneath the gateway
A look from the other side
From the field where lions probably once ate dudes
Hole from which dude-eating lions probably came
Inside the hole from which dude-eating lions probably came
Temple of Aphrodite
Walking through the temple ruins
The monumental gateway from afar
Didn’t venture out that way, but that kinda looks like the hill from The Teletubbies
That dude’s cut
More swamp columns and swamp coffins on the right, I think
Wall of faces
Drunk guy face
Statue of Liberty face
Roman soldier face
Beard made of eels face
Relief on The Sebasteion
All that @$$
Balloons being inflated for an early morning ride in a region known as Cappadocia in central Turkey
What a crazy vehicle the hot air balloon is
View of the burner from below
Start it up
Turkish balloon in flight
Rising above the strange rock formations of Cappadocia known as “fairy chimneys”
Floating amongst the fairy chimneys
Bring me a higher love
I’ve always wanted to do this
The clouds were bullshit, but it didn’t stop me from enjoying the shit out of the experience
Don’t get popped on them fairy chimneys, yo!
On my Lawnchair Larry grind
Here’s my pilot, a Spanish guy, handing out “Flight Certificates” to everyone that was in our balloon. He really struggled with the Asian names.
He had no trouble pronouncing “Harry Paratestes” though
Panorama of Cappadocia by foot
Those are people on that other hill over there
Fairy chimneys all over the place
The Selime Cathedral
Tunnel leading to the Selime Cathedral
View from the Selime Cathedral
According to a local guide, this is where George Lucas originally wanted to film some shit from Star Wars but the Turkish government wouldn’t let him
Close-up of ancient homes/churches from the photo previous
Around the Cathedral
There’s a tourist sitting in the upstairs window
Here he is up close
Entrance to the cathedral
Inside of the cathedral
Stairs leading down to Ilhara Valley
One of the hundreds of churchs carved in the valley walls
Wall paintings inside the church
Is that you, Jesus?
Really, really old stuff
My eccentric guide smoking a cigarette in the tree while explaining some historical shit
This one horny dude duck kept chasing the females until…
…he finally caught up with one and gave her the business.
Woman selling handicrafts
Dude twirling homemade ice cream
Well hello m’lady!
Two rock formations that look like a major pair of chodes
I wandered into a cave in one of the chode formations from the photo previous and found a pair of shit-stained underwear. Weird.
There was a town built all up into that hill
Fairy chimneys look like pointy peckers
Multiple story home
Do these look more like candles or wangs?
Inside Hacli Church
Yet another holy dude throwing up the shocker
At the bottom of this valley I spotted somebody’s home
Here’s the home of which I speak
Chillin’ at the home
Laborin’ out in the field
The town of Goreme
Pool at my hotel. Too bad it was only like 40 degrees out
Old dudes playing cards in Goreme
Old dudes chilling in Goreme
More old dudes
The ruins of Hierapolis are adjacent to the modern city of Pamukkale
The theater from afar
The main thoroughfare of Hierapolis
What I believe to be ancient mausoleums have become covered in the sediment from the local hot springs and are now part of the travertines of Pamukkale
From the background of the photo previous
Massive arches that were roped off from the public to avoid disaster