A young Chicagoan's strange erotic journey around the globe
View of the River Liffey from the O’Connell St. Bridge. The “Up the Dubs” sign there I think was in reference to the upcoming All Ireland football final between counties Dublin and Mayo.
Knobs & Knockers? Think I once saw a titty-fucking porno with the same title.
In the capital city, they had these helpful little reminders painted in the crosswalks to prevent stupid foreigners from getting smoked by cars driving “the wrong way.”
Street near Trinity College
Tales of Brave Ulysses
These signs were all over the place in the north part of Dublin – Suck balls, Bill Tormey
“UP MAYO” written in rocks on a hillside as we entered the county of my ancestors
These water towers reminded me of the spaceships up on poles that Vincent D’Onofrio as the “sugar, in water” bug guy in the first MIB tried to climb up into before TLJ and Big Willie Style popped his ass good.
First spotting of Croagh Patrick or, St. Patrick’s Mountain, as we neared Westport
A bit closer… Croagh Patrick stands at 2,507-feet-tall and is an important site of pilgrimage for Christians who believe that St. Patrick fasted for forty days on the summit back in the fifth century.
Failte Go Westport…Twinned with, linked with, partnered with, gay with…
Gettin’ into town
The “octagon” of Westport
Statue of St. Patrick in the center of the octagon…octagon having nothing to do with a UFC ring or Paul Rudd’s nickname for his penis in “Anchorman”
Humble yourself: “I am Patrick, a sinner most unlearned, the least of all the faithful and utterly despised by many.”
A walk through Westport
Modern Westport crib
A lot of houses had this posted on the mail slot. That’s a lot of pressure to put on the poor old postman.
Thatched roof restaurant
Low tide at Clew Bay
It can’t be good for these boats to hit the bottom every day when the tide goes out…
Grazin’ wit’ Croagh Patrick in the background
Cow with identification tags clipped on its ears
The octagon in the background as my dad fidgets around with his cigarettes
Bum art at the B&B
Priest poundin’ milks at a place called Madden’s
On the wall at Madden’s
Street near the B&B
An old blind woman in my neighborhood had her house painted the same colors when I was growing up. Don’t know whether she didn’t give a fuck ‘cus she didn’t have to look at it or if it’d been a cruel joke played on her by the painter, but it looked quite out of place.
The flag of Mayo. Think “Criost Linn” means “Christ is with us”
“Sam” is said in reference to the “Sam Maguire Cup” which is awarded to the winner of the All Ireland Gaelic football championship.
Despite everyone’s over-enthusiasm in the county because Mayo hadn’t won a championship since 1951…
…they lost to Dublin.
Drawings behind the Mayo fans at the bank in the picture previous.
Get FUCKED Up!
“Craic” – pronounced “crack” – is the Irish word for fun, entertainment, or good conversation. So, in Ireland, when a stranger recommends a place that’s got good craic, it takes on a completely different meaning that it would in the same situation in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
Lally’s Pharmacy – good place to score some “craic”
Decorative plate at the B&B
More Westport buildings
Afternoon at the pub
My dad checking out an informational sign at the base of Croagh Patrick
St. Patrick statue at the base of the mountain with an immense fog cloud covering its entirety
Don’t climb on foggy or wet days? Yeah, good advice…if you’re a fuckin’ pussy!
Pilgrimage suggestions for the religiously devout
Near the top when the fog temporarily broke
Wherever you go in the world, at whatever attraction, some people always feel the need to leave their mark. Here’s some people’s names written in stone.
The top of Croagh Patrick was obscured by fog
The summit. Church to the left and directions on the right to which my dad, exhausted at the time, said there’s wasn’t a chance in hell he was doing.
Coming down was fucking treacherous
Rocky, rocky, rocky. My grandma allegedly did this climb at 60 which earned her mad respect in my book.
View of Clew Bay on the fogless but soon rainy descent
Golf course in front of the castle
Originally built in 1228, Ashford Castle has been continuously added onto over the years.
The Ashford Castle now serves as a five-star luxury hotel which we couldn’t afford to stay at in our wildest dreams.
Me and the old man
Hey guy, why don’t you try to juggle these balls…in your mouth…no homo.
Elderly couple on a stroll
On the way to Tourmakeady, birthplace of my dad’s dad’s grandparents
Me with my “cummer” in hand. It seems that I’m always being lead around by my “cummer.”
Hill outside Tourmakeady
“Failte” – the Gaelic word for “welcome”
Tourmakeady in Gaelic
This man was drooling all over himself
Church of Ireland
Is that a sheep? What the fuck is that? I’m such a city slicker. Anyway, this thing was right by the church in the photo previous.
This one too. Horns like that are the cornrows of the animal kingdom.
Say an Apollo Creed for me
Newport, County Mayo
The church on the top of the photo previous which my dad’s grandfather, Dan O’Donnell, had carried the bricks up the hill to build.
My grandma’s dad’s house…I believe
Monument honoring soldiers killed in fighting between what I think the monument said was 1916-1923. My grandma’s maternal uncle, Patrick Mulchrone, is among the deceased who was killed at age 21.
Anne Mulchrone, a distant relative by marriage who showed us the sights
Michael Mulchrone, Anne’s husband, the aforementioned distant relative and second captain of our heritage tour
Young Mulchrone kids picking blackberries
My dad gettin’ the O’Donnell family run-down from Michael
On the wet, narrow, winding, back roads of western Ireland on which people drive like maniacs, this has gotta be one of the most dangerous jobs in the country.
“Meningitis Nightmare” – strange thing to have a cut-out of an athlete holding at a grocery store
Mural of British dudes fuckin’ shit up
Strange organism – thing was like the product of an orgy involving a cactus, antlers, pipe cleaner and a pine tree.
Support for Team Mayo
Mayo in Transit
Emo – the only gas station that paints its nails black and cries itself to sleep at night
Tubber Boys. Any relation to Tub Girl?
Same house, different angle
Arranmore is an island in County Donegal with a population of little more than 500
Arranmore is connected to the mainland by ferry
We heard about this place through my mom’s co-worker Moira who is from there. The Early’s, Moira’s parents, were kind enough to take us in for tea and scones as well as an a capella song performed by Mr. Early.
The long and winding road
While driving around the island, the sun happened to start breaking through the clouds, so we decided to park the car and walk to the edge of the cliffs.
Walking down to the edge…
Approaching the edge
Oh Danny boy
My man flexin’
My man flexin’ the other way
Dare me to dive off?
As we left
After the sun set on a different part of the island
In Ireland, people spray paint their livestock certain colors so they know which beasts belong to which man.
Another beautiful ruin
Old-ass grocery dude
Grocery dude up close
Dat yo witch? Mural up close
Drunk guy hanging out the doorway for a smoke around ten in “the marnin'”
Tricked-out personal-ass street sweeper
Oh my god, you Kilkenny! You bastards!
St. Kieran’s College
St. Kieran’s entrance
Pull over that ass too fat! WOOP! WOOP!
It’s wabbit season!
Guinness is good for you, but a mouth full of cigarettes helps the medicine go down
St. Mary’s Cathedral
Our Lady of Kilkenny
St. Canice’s Cathedral which originated in the 13th century and the accompanying 9th century round tower
View from the top of the round tower
St. Mary’s Cathedral from the round tower
Another top view
One of the entrances
My “organ” is bigger
Street of Kilkenny
Along the River Nore
Hilarious guilt-trip photo on the left saying “A Stolen Ringbuoy, A Stolen Life?” complete with an open hand presenting a person drowning and no way to help them ‘cus the ring’s gone.
Wish I was around for The Boss
Sculpture of a bug-eyed bastard at the castle
Ad for Konor the Magic Clown
Graffiti – In Ireland, from what I’ve gathered, someone who is a “ride” is either a good-looking male from a woman’s point of view or a slut who might be hot but ain’t afraid to hop on it.
Streets of Kilkenny
Average looking buildings
Pictures at the hotel
Welcome to Derry, Northern Ireland (UK)
Derry bum smellin’ the Derry air
The British loyalist part of town where the name “Londonderry” is preferred
Not-so-invisible line drawn in the sand
Curbs painted the colors of the Union Jack
Cathedral Youth Club
Relief of Derry
“Our City Our Culture”
WBL = West Bank Loyalists
Union Jack-Me-Off Garage
Old Crib in the Unionist part of town
St. Columb’s Cathedral
Guinness for Strength
Libra Scale Ho
A Screwnicorn is a unicorn that uses its forehead as a phallus
Hands Across the Divide Sculpture
The Bogside, a majority Catholic nationalist area in Derry
Free Derry: Home of “The People’s Gallery” or Bogside Murals
IRA BRY = Irish Republican Army and Bogside Republican Youth
“Bernadette: Battle of the Bogside”
UK NO WAY
Someone got carried away here. “Well, as long as we’re on the subject…Catalonia isn’t part of Spain either!”
“A Tribute to John Hume”
“Hunger Strike: Raymond McCartney Mural”
As early as the 1970s, the Provisional Irish Revolutionary Army supported the Free Gaza cause as well as received training and weapons from the Palestinian Liberation Organization.
No idea what’s going on in this one
Somebody done turned this wall into a political cartoon
Bogside Republican Youth
“Civil Rights: The beginning”
On the street
“Operation Motorman: The Summer Invasion” on the left and “The Runner” on the right
Che about that life
“Bloody Sunday Mural: January 30th, 1972”
Not a bogside mural, but on a billboard right in the area
“Petrol Bomber: Battle of the Bogside”
“Death of Innocence: Annette McGavigan Mural”
“Bloody Sunday Commemoration: Bloody Sunday Victims” – Mural of all the unarmed civilians killed by British paratroopers on Bloody Sunday
Bogside Bonfires are burnings of all things Loyalist by the Bogside nationalists
Scribbled on the wall near the location of the photo previous. Ted Loden died in September 2013 and was a British Army Officer and commander on Bloody Sunday. Someone also had done a whole “HA HA” mural dissing Margaret Thatcher when she kicked the bucket in April.
A not-so-political mural
Hilarious 3-wheel car that reminds me of the one that would always tip over when driven off the road in old Mr. Bean episodes.
“Please to Meet You…Meat to Please You” – My favorite pick-up line, usually said with pants down and dick in hand as I helicopter it in circles at whoever I’m after.
Hard to see, but up there on the right side of the city wall had been a drunk guy who’d fallen asleep standing up.
Here he is up close.
British-ass stained glass in the Guildhall
Coke bottle gettin’ an enema
Old man I stopped for a photo. “The last time, someone stopped me and asked me for a photo – it’d been thirty years ago by the British police…They thought I was a terrorist.”
Royal mail, Royal litter
Carrick-a-Rede Rope Bridge (U.K.)
Bar in Limavady, before leaving to Carrick-a-Rede
One of the dudliest lookin’ chicks I’ve ever seen. “Beaten with an ugly stick”
A massive Hercules-lookin’ dude with an equally tremendous thirst gettin’ fucked up while standing on the Giant’s Causeway
Ireland’s Pounds Sterling used in the Northern counties
The rocks housing Carrick-a-Rede Rope Bridge
View the opposite way
Looking down on the rope bridge
The bridge is 66-feet-long and 98-feet above the rocks below
Dan the Man ain’t afraid of no fuckin’ rope bridge
‘Bout to cross
She’s like a rainbow
Headfest – the event where urrbody gets they dick sucked
The country road to Ross Errilly Friary
This friary was believed to have been built in the 1400s
View of the inside from the top
Same deal, different direction
Celtic cross and fields of green
Inside from the ground
Cliffs of Moher
Hills on our way to the Cliffs of Moher
Gate leading to someone’s property flying flags with the colors of County Clare
A father/son Cliffs of Moher SUCK IT!
You trippin’ dawg
The Cliffs of Moher overlook the Atlantic Ocean from County Clare and, at their tallest point, stand 702 feet above sea level.
Close-up of dudes overlooking the cliffs in the photo previous
Anti-suicide helpline at the cliffs?
Check out my man, Cliffy
I don’t get the restriction on the middle left. What’s that signifying? No nothing? You can’t do nothing? What the fuck does that mean?
The name says it all
That you Beethoven? You fuckin’ slobberin’ all over Charles Grodin in there?
Doin’ a Pete Weber ‘suck it.’ If you don’t know who this guy is, please YouTube “Pete Weber suck it” and “Pete Weber who do you think you are.” Guy takes bowling WAY too seriously.