A young Chicagoan's strange erotic journey around the globe
“Me” in front of the Eiffel Tower – photo courtesy of William Fulara
Retard train – France’s insensitive, politically incorrect form of transportation
Rollin’ into town on the retard train
Overlooking the town
All the buildings in Cannes look alike
Nightfall creeping in: “Don’t let your son go down on me” – Elton John
Judging by both the name of the town on this map and the practical application of tampons, I’m guessing that place is full of “stuck up cunts.”
Altar-ed state of mind
Yankees fans leaving their mark on the wall of a Cannes bar
Place Massena – the main square in Nice
Elevated statue of a guy in shitting position at Place Massena
La Fontaine du Soleil
“You’re what the French would call ‘le incompetent'”
The spirit of the French Riviera
No sails there, guy?
Villa Saint Exupery Gardens – a monastery turned hostel
The kebab master of Nice
This drunk motherfucker with the Nolte mugshot hair kept putting his right hand up behind his head and flipping us off as he tilted back and forth in a haze
Kickin’ off the shoes and sleepin’ one off in front of a department store. Party animal.
Drunk and rowdy Australians gettin’ naked and swimming in a fountain down the street from Wayne’s bar
“DOUCHE” The go-to place in the south of France for vaginal-cleaning products
The boat of seafaring porn king, Captain Stabbin’
Scuba session: It was my first time ever. The guys instructing us didn’t speak English and the non-verbal instructions hadn’t been the easiest to understand. Needless to say, I figured it out – otherwise I wouldn’t be here uploading all these photos.
The Mediterranean view of Nice
My man Clit celebrating a successful first dive despite a vomitrociously hungover morning and a constant effort to not throw up into his regulator or diarrhea in his wetsuit.